“Dammit! I’m faking my orgasms” Mitchell declared. “The tables have turned and now I’m the one who says when sex does and doesn’t happen!”

Faking My Orgasms

Faking My Orgasms

Mitchell Felding recalls fourteen years of sexlessness with wife Sam and their desire to have children this year:

“Faking my orgasms isn’t hard. I buck and kick about like I’m taking one home and then I drive it in hard, breathe heavy, sigh a bit and pull out like I’m done. She’s none the wiser… and it serves her right. She’s been withholding sex all these years and was never there when I needed her. Now, we want a child, she’s demanding that I lay down and give her one. Well, I’m not ready to exchange sex for a child, not yet. Call me selfish but I want some time in the sun before I lose it again!”

“So I fake my orgasms and let her think I’ve impregnated her each and every time. I go and have a shower and finish off while she lies in bed, leaving her with her legs in the air as she peddles an imaginary bicycle. I know what you’re thinking, that’s stupid. She’d know. There’s no mess, no juice to show for all the effort. That’s where you’re wrong. She can’t remember what happened the last time we had sex. I did say it’s been fourteen years since the last didn’t I?”

“We used a condom back then. She hated knowing what was going on down below and turned away when it was time to pull out. She’s never seen semen to know what what it is or how much there should be. A bit of wetness left over from the lube mixed in with foamy pre-cum is all that’s needed to convince her that the job’s been done.”


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“She pees on a tester every day thinking it’s gonna happen overnight. We’re going through pregnancy kits like they’re going out of style! But it’s cheaper than a hooker, better than fending off ex-girlfriends and sending them upstream when they don’t play nice. The reality is she won’t fall pregnant because I’ve found a way to control myself.”

“There are four ways for a man to stop his sperm entering a woman. One is to fill a condom. Another is to pull out before climax. The third is by pressing a finger hard into the sperm delivery tube on the underside of the penis prior to ejaculation. Orgasm occurs but the seminal fluid backflows into the urinary tract. It’s a strange feeling but equally effective. The fourth is to control orgasm and turn off the trigger so…”

Excerpt inspired by SEETHINGS novel.

The Novel ¦The Author ¦ Order 

Michael Forman’s books on Goodreads ratings: 4 (avg rating 4.50)


‘Forman’s writing style is artful, with the protagonist Mitchell’s warped thought processes masterfully exposed. The author has a powerful and vivid command of language and his word pictures are stark and disturbingly real.’  – Linda J Bettenay, author of ‘Secrets Mothers Keep’ and ‘Wishes For Starlight’


Husband: I’m Faking My Orgasms to Stop Wife Getting Pregnant! was originally published on MICHAEL FORMAN AUTHOR

4 thoughts on “Husband: I’m Faking My Orgasms to Stop Wife Getting Pregnant!

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